Anyone that knows me well knows that all I've ever wanted was to be an adult. Phases in life that get labeled as "the best time of your life" (high school, college) have always been a bit underwhelming to me. That isn't to say I didn't enjoy my time there - but it's always been about the people as opposed to the experience itself.
It's crazy to think that you get to spend almost every day with certain people and all of a sudden you're nowhere near them. It's even crazier to think that you spend over 15 years in school and all of a sudden, this carpet is just taken from underneath you and you're supposed to figure out how to walk on tiles.
However many nights I spent dreaming about the moment when I get to run out and adult on my terms, I'm not any less scared than I would have been without the prep. Truth is, the outside world is scary and overwhelming. I don't believe in a lack of options for my field. I find that there are too many options, and a strong pressure to take all of them into account.
This month, I'm working on relaxing and recharging with family and friends, cleaning out my mind, and pinpointing what I want to do and where I want to be. There's so many societal pressures to come out of school with your life figured out, or at least a strong willingness to apply to everything and anything and take on whatever's offered to you, and I'm trying so hard to avoid that.
It's not that I think I'm above anything. It's that I'd rather put everything I've got into less options than cheat myself and any prospective employer/internship/volunteer opportunity of a fully committed exchange. I've never taken on a project without having my heart 100% in it, because both I and the other party deserve better.
I suppose the point of this rant is:
a) I graduated college and it was a big deal in my life and I found it necessary to share.
b) It's a scary world out there and society constantly tries to tell you that it's no big deal and your fears are unfounded. I'm here to tell you that everyone goes through fear and your fears are valid and you should acknowledge them and try your best to overcome them.
c) I just wanted to let everyone know that if I express interest and pursue an opportunity or friendship, I'll give it 100% and then some. And maybe my volume quota doesn't meet the societal trends being spewed our way, but if that's an issue then we're not meant to be. Just know that when I'm in it, I'm all yours.